Debunking date night excuses: Why it’s time to stop the hating and start the dating

Date nights—some people love them, others roll their eyes and come armed with a list of excuses. Over the years, I’ve heard just about every reason why date nights “don’t work,” and I’m here to lovingly (but firmly) call them out. Relationships take work, and making time for each other is essential for keeping the connection alive. So, let’s explore some of the most common date night excuses —and why they simply don’t stand up.

Excuse #1: “It’s hard to think of things to do.”

Oh, come on now—this is Singapore we’re talking about! This city is bursting with things to do, see, and eat. The speed at which restaurants, attractions, and new experiences pop up is dizzying. There’s always something new to try!

But here’s the thing—date nights don’t have to involve reinventing the wheel every week. My husband and I often return to our favourite spots. In fact, we theme some of our dates for added fun. For example, we got married in Cyprus, so we always go for Greek food on our anniversary. Or, around Chinese New Year, we love visiting Chinatown (See my post: Date Night #3: Sssssslithering into the Year of the Snake at Chinatown (Singapore)). For Diwali, Little India is our go-to.

If you’re stuck for ideas, my blog is here to help! I regularly share inspiration, and I swear by websites like Sassy Mama and Time Out, as well as Pinterest and Facebook groups. Trust me—date night ideas are everywhere if you’re open to them.

Excuse #2: “Scheduling date nights takes the spontaneity and fun out of the relationship.”

This is probably the excuse I hear most, and while there’s some truth to it, here’s the thing: without scheduling, most people never get around to actually having a date night!

Yes, spontaneous plans are lovely, but life is busy, and time slips away if you’re not intentional. A scheduled date night is like a promise to each other—a commitment to prioritise your relationship amidst the chaos. You can always inject spontaneity into the date itself, but carving out time for it? That’s non-negotiable.

Excuse #3: “We can’t afford it every week.”

Who says date night has to be expensive? It’s not about the money—it’s about the time. Some of the best date nights my husband and I have had were budget-friendly or even free. From picnics at Marina Barrage to bike ride along the Singapore River, there’s no shortage of affordable date ideas in Singapore.

If you’re looking for more inspiration, check out my other blog post: Big love on a small budget: My top 10 affordable date nights in Singapore, for a list of cheap (but meaningful) date night ideas.

Excuse #4: “We don’t have time.”

Let’s be honest—this one is less of an excuse and more of a mindset. If you value something, you make time for it. Yes, life is busy, but if you can find time for work meetings, school drop-offs and binge-watching Netflix, you can carve out time for your partner.

Excuse #5: “We don’t have anyone to watch the kids.”

I get it—this one can be tough. We’re lucky to have an amazing helper who makes our weekly date nights possible. But not everyone has that option.

If babysitting help is scarce, try scheduling a date night out of the house once a month and enlist a friend, family member or babysitter. For the other weeks, embrace Home-Based Dating. During the COVID era, my husband and I mastered the art of at-home date nights after the kids were in bed.

From movie nights to board games, there’s plenty you can do at home. Check out my other blog post, Home-Based Dating: 10 cozy date night ideas for couples stuck at home, for inspiration.

Excuse #6: “One of us works late, or our schedules don’t match.”

If your work lives don’t sync, flexibility is key. Find a day or time that works, even if it’s an unconventional slot. Maybe mornings, lunch dates, or even breakfast together could be your “date night.”

Excuse #7: “One of us works abroad or travels a lot.”

If anything, this is even more reason to prioritise date nights when you’re in the same country. And when you’re apart, there’s no need to let distance be an excuse—thanks to COVID, we’ve all become pros at online socializing. Virtual date nights can be just as special!

Watch the same movie together using apps like Rave, order the same takeaway to enjoy over a video call, or explore apps like Paired to play games or share media remotely. (There’s no shortage of options—just a quick search will reveal plenty more!) With a little creativity, distance doesn’t have to stand in the way of carving out meaningful time for each other.

Excuse #8: “We have eating restrictions or don’t want to just eat and drink.”

Not all date nights have to revolve around food and drink. While my husband and I love dining out, we also enjoy being active. From kayaking to axe throwing to mini-golf, there are endless non-food-related date ideas.

If you’re interested, check out my other blog post, We like to move it, move it: My top 10 active date night ideas in Singapore, for plenty of ideas to keep your dates—and your energy—fulfilled!

No more excuses!

Stop the hating and start the dating

At the end of the day, excuses are easy, but making time for your partner isn’t just about having fun—it’s about investing in your relationship. Whether it’s a fancy dinner, a budget-friendly picnic, or a night in playing games, what matters most is that you’re spending time together.

So, the next time you find yourself reaching for an excuse, pause and ask: “Am I prioritising what matters?” Because trust me, when it comes to keeping the spark alive, date nights are worth it.